"... Or are you just happy to see me?"

Hello, internet! This is Jessica, the other half of our little blog duet. My first post/article/column/whatever will be about pants.

Yes, pants.

Or more specifically, that obnoxious little "tent" that forms in your jeans crotch when you sit down.

Yes, it looks naughty. But it's not you making that lump, it's the pants! They just fold that way for some reason! It's unavoidable. You discreetly try to flatten it out by tugging the legs of your pants down. Maybe you cross your legs to cover it up. As a last resort, you might even try to mash it down with your fist. However, it probably wouldn't look very good to your friends if you were sitting there punching your crotch, so strike that option.

Thomas had one at lunch today, and even though we girls were very understanding of the "pants-tent" phenomenon, he was still (understandably) ticked off about having a lump there that he had nothing to do with.

Honestly, guys, we don't care. We KNOW it's not you. We get them too, and we understand the physics behind it all. See, I'll prove it:

We have two opposing forces (your abdomen vs. your legs) meeting at a perpendicular intersection (your crotch). Where they meet, there's going to be a bump in the fabric. That bump just happens to be over the crotch.

Unless we're really sheltered or in 6th grade, we're not going to see your pants-tent and dump ice water on you while screaming, "OH MY GOD!! YOU PERVERT!!", so relax.

Moral of the story: Yes, we see it. Yes, we know it is hollow. Everything is going to be okay.