Fooood.

At the moment, I've got nothing more interesting to say than I'm starving!

That's right, starving! Our school's gone and slapped a health-food mandate on our campus food, my main source of nourishment. Don't get me wrong, I prefer munching on Sweet 'n' Salty trail mix to eating Uncle Porky's Lard-Coated Buttermuffin Treats, but I need some raw fatty energy every once in a while. (It would also help if they actually STOCKED the vending machines with trail mix and crap when it ran out.)

Can't say the cafeteria food has changed much in accordance with this law, though. The other day I stood in line for the "Soft-Shell Taco".

Now, this is my idea of a taco.

Om nom nom!!

This is what they gave me.

Ladies and gentleman, as aggravating as this MSPaint masterpiece is on your eyes, that's how it was on my tongue. And "Soft-Shell"?? The shell of this abomination was so rock hard that I couldn't even PEEL the thing apart. The tortilla flaked off under my fingernails. I gave up that pursuit and tried in vain to mash it into some kind of taco salad.

It reminded me of the time I microwaved chicken fried steak for too long and not even my mom's sharpest knife could cut through it. Rock-freaking-hard, man. I took it outside and threw it on the cement -- it chipped just like a piece of slate* and cut dents in the cement. THAT was awesome.

Anyway, I guess I'm not getting anywhere complaining about the food. I'm either going to have to fight the administration or suck it up and take a sack lunch like all the cool kids do. Toodles!


*For those of you who are not geologists, slate is a wicked awesome rock that chips off in "leaves"